Our Aunt Craigge

"Don't let him forget me,"  Aunt Craigge would always tell me referring to Joshua.  She said once when she told him she loved him, he signed back, "I love you too."  She was so moved she said.  "He has a special place in my heart.  I love that little fella."

And you have a special place in my heart Aunt Craigge, and not just mine but in the hearts of your family and friends.  You were my dad's younger sister and I know he was so proud of you.  I have always admired your hospitality and you have to be the sharpest dresser in our family.

Your faith has been strong.  You have told me many times how thankful you are for your relationship with Jesus, our Savior, and how you are looking forward to being with Him and our other loved ones who have already gone.  We just didn't know you would be leaving so soon.

I will miss your sweet phone calls to check up on me.   I will miss hearing you tell me how special I am to you and how much you love me.  I am so grateful to be a part of this family that you love.  I have felt your strength and have been reminded by you that the best is yet to come.  Truly, you have been a faithful servant in this world and we are suffering a great loss.

I love you Aunt Craigge, you have blessed us so much with your life.  I will make sure Joshua remembers you, and until the day we meet again; I will miss you.

Joshua's Best Friend Forever

One of Joshua's best friends is his Aunt Joyce, who is also my sister.  He has a special hand sign to let me know when he wants to go to her house.  There are days he will sign every ten minutes that he wants to go see her.  She is kind of like his BFF.  She sits patiently with him on the couch as he tries to communicate with her through sign language what he wants or is thinking.

On occasion his BFF doesn't understand what his signs mean, but they don't always need words to understand each other.  They hold hands between smiles, hugs and their visit.  I think he just enjoys sitting there knowing that she loves him and cares about him.

Often words cannot express the deepest feelings of our heart.  They can only be felt by the ones who takes the time to listen to the unspoken words.  In the story of Job in the Bible it says that after all his afflictions, his friends came and "sat down on the ground with him for 7 days and 7 nights with no one speaking a word to him."  Their mere presence spoke volumes to him.   However, any consolation was interrupted when they began to speak.

I'm wondering if I have the qualifications to be a good BFF and if not, why not?  Joshua has encouraged me to be patient and  hear beyond the words that a person is speaking.  My sister reminds me that true listening takes time and practice.  Something I need to develop because every heart is worth hearing.

TOUCHED

It was a Sunday, the church service was over and I was still in the sanctuary talking with friends.  I spotted a friend's teenage son who has autism and walked over to shake hands.  When I extended my hand to Brandon, he looked me in the eyes, smiled, took my hand in his and kissed it.  I immediately felt like a princess; like royalty.  He had made my day!

My friend, Linda told me that the best part of her day was when my son, Joshua held her hand while they were watching a DVD.  She is a teacher and told me it had been a really hard day.  Joshua is non-verbal so this was his way of reaching out to comfort her.

I read a story about a man who was walking on the beach when from nowhere a young boy with Down syndrome ran towards him laughing and started wildly kissing and hugging him. The man wrote that at that moment he felt as if God was telling him, "This is how much I love you.  I am crazy about you."  An embarrassed mother ran up apologizing and reclaimed her son.  He assured her he was fine, but he would never forget it.

Sometimes the most unsuspecting souls can look into our lives where the needs run the deepest and touch our hearts with such love and acceptance.  We walk away with a depth we have never experienced, and thank God, we are never the same.

Churchless

Finding a church home is hard these days and it's getting even harder.  Many churches do not offer anything for the special needs child and the ones that offer a ministry may not work for your child.  Most of the families I know with a special needs child do not attend church or have long spans of time where they do not attend.

Of all the places to find acceptance, the church should be number one on the list.  Clearly in the Bible Jesus paid special attention to the children and took great notice of those suffering.  He did not blame, look down on or cast away those considered insignificant at that time.

I was telling a friend that when I attend his church, no one speaks to us.  His answer to me was, "that is not their fault."  Then whose is it?  Shame on us when we do not welcome people who walk through those church doors no matter how they are dressed, what they look like or how uncomfortable they might make us feel.  We should welcome them the way Jesus welcomes each sinner that turns from their own path to follow Him.  Hallelujah, praise God, nothing else matters anymore but that you are here now!

It's not easy loving people who are different.  Some people with special needs are loud and embarrassing and some drool.  But, other people lie and gossip.  Which is worse?

I'm on a mission on my "Joshua Journey" to learn to love everyone no matter what; because God does.  And, I don't know about you, but I want to be just like my Father.

Through His Eyes

There is a 75% chance or greater that your marriage will fail if  you have a special needs child.  I know of families that seek to adopt special needs children and I say "God bless them".  If my husband, Allan and I did not have a relationship with Christ, I don't know how we would survive. Thank God for a husband who is patient and does not give up.

Raising a child with special needs can be exhausting physically and emotionally.  Some special needs children do not sleep well which puts an additional drain on the parents.  My heart goes out to all the single moms who are doing this job alone.  Their greatest need might just be five minutes alone to spend on themselves.

Probably the greatest thing I have learned on this journey is that I am not alone.  I have a God who is leading me and is with me each step of the way.  I like what Coral Bergmann says in Jenny McCarthy's book "Mother Warriors".  "...I am not alone.  I have had a chance to be reacquainted with God.  Not the God you meet in your Sunday best in church, but the God you meet on your kitchen floor at three in the morning."

Whatever your struggle may be, however dark your day, God is there and takes note of each tear.  Your pain is never wasted when you give it to Him.  He has this amazing way of creating something beautiful out of what the world would reject.  He makes what looks like a mistake, into a miracle.  His vision is so much better than ours.

Lord, everyday, let me see ... through Your eyes.. 

Lost Lambs

When Joshua was only a few months old, I met a lady at a homeschooling convention who had eight children from ages 20 to 3 years old.  She had a son around 10 years old that was born with Down syndrome.  When I asked her how difficult it was for her having a child with Down syndrome, she responded, "not as challenging as dealing with the sin my 20 year old daughter is in." 

I have never forgotten that and I now understand how parents tend to focus on the child with the greatest need at the moment.  Having a special needs child does not mean that our other children will not require as much or more of our attention.  I guess we are all a little "special needs" at one time or another.  We all tend to lose our way and go in the wrong direction.

It makes me think of the story of the lost sheep in the Bible and how the shepherd leaves all the other sheep to find the lost one and how he rejoices when that sheep is found.  I'm so glad we have a Father in heaven that cares about every single child on this earth no matter their intelligence, physical appearance or contributions.

Shouldn't we all be the same way?  Joshua and I think so.

Learning Humility

Joshua's older brother Jeremy, is one of Joshua's best friends.  Although Jeremy is 21 yrs old he loves doing things with Joshua like playing his music on the keyboard and he is very patient with  him.  But his patience ends there.

I confess I am to a certain degree computer illiterate, but I am working on it ever day.  My son, Jeremy has been my biggest asset in accomplishing anything on this blog.  He has helped me set it up, put the pictures on and a myriad of other things.  I homeschooled him  from K - 9th grade, so you think he would be grateful that I taught him how to read, write,  do his math, etc.

However, when it comes to him teaching me on the computer, I'm sure I am a great challenge.  He is currently in college studying biomedical engineering.  I told him to never, never, never go into teaching.

He was totally shocked to find out all the things I do NOT know how to do.  I have taught myself how to work my computer, do face book and a few other things; but I guess that I am really way behind in my computer skills.  According to him, I have "real computer issues".

After being insulted a few times with comments like "this is so elementary ... it's like telling someone how to wash a dish," and "even Aunt Joyce knows how to do this"; I learned what Jeremy considers to be the epitome of stupidity when he says, "Mom, teenage girls know how to do this." 

So, if I don't post everyday or get my pictures posted at the right time, you will understand that I am being tutored by a strict schoolmaster who is not very available  Anyone else available, please let me know.  Until then, I remain humbly yours,  Patti Goulet, and I still love you, Jeremy, you're the best!