Near To Me

Joshua loves to be near people.  He loves to hold hands and give big hugs to everyone.  Some people don't like this, but others give him a big hug right back.  I think he loves everyone.

Most people want to be near the ones they love.  In the movie "The Ultimate Gift", a little girl with cancer tells about her perfect day.  She says that it is being with people that she loves who also love each other.

Joshua hangin with Dad and "bro"

I spent the past couple of days with my family.  I loved being with them and I think just being together was the best part.  We watched some movies, made cookies and  some of us even went swimming in our pool. Let me insert how wonderful it is to live in south Florida where we can swim in December 2 days before Christmas.

All of this started me thinking about how God must want to be near us.  By sending His son to come live with us, He provided a way for us to always be with Him.  Emanuel means:  God is with us.

My favorite verse in the Bible is Psalm 73:28.  It says:  But as for me, the nearness of God is my good; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all Your works.

I hope that this Christmas you will be able to be near to your loved ones and that you will celebrate the "nearness" that we have to God.

Merry Christmas from Joshua and the Goulet Family!!!

"Here I Am"

                              


Joshua wears a tracking device around his ankle.  If he ever gets lost, someone can call the police and give the frequency number and a helicopter would be dispatched to locate him.  Fortunately, we have never had to do this even though he has left the house on his bike a few times.

We have alarms on all our doors so we will notice when someone comes in or out.  But, on occasion, the alarms get accidentally turned off.  I am always on the alert as to his location.   I make sure his bedroom door has something in front of it at night so we will hear him if he gets up.

It can be hard always being on call, like minutemen, ready at any moment to go into action.  I have tried to teach him to answer me when I call him.  He can say "mama" but he speaks it so softly, like a whisper, that no one would hear him unless they were a few feet away.

He doesn't really like wearing the tracker and has gotten into the sicssors a few times and cut it off.  To help him feel better about wearing it, his older brother, Jeremy, wore his watch around his ankle for about a year.  I try to make sure it is comfortable when they come to change the battery each month.  Maybe one day he won't need to wear it.  It would be so wonderful if he could just say, "here I am, mom," so I wouldn't be frantic everytime I can't find him.

I think God must have a tracking device on us all, because the Bible tells us that He knows every detail of our lives.  He knows every hair on our head.  He knows when we rise up and when we are sleeping. In the Bible we learn that God never sleeps or grows weary.  I guess He keeps track of us because He loves us so much, even more than I love Joshua.  That's good to remember, especially on those days when I am feeling really lost and alone.  He is always there and He will hear me call.   Even if it's only a whisper.

   

Our Aunt Craigge

"Don't let him forget me,"  Aunt Craigge would always tell me referring to Joshua.  She said once when she told him she loved him, he signed back, "I love you too."  She was so moved she said.  "He has a special place in my heart.  I love that little fella."

And you have a special place in my heart Aunt Craigge, and not just mine but in the hearts of your family and friends.  You were my dad's younger sister and I know he was so proud of you.  I have always admired your hospitality and you have to be the sharpest dresser in our family.

Your faith has been strong.  You have told me many times how thankful you are for your relationship with Jesus, our Savior, and how you are looking forward to being with Him and our other loved ones who have already gone.  We just didn't know you would be leaving so soon.

I will miss your sweet phone calls to check up on me.   I will miss hearing you tell me how special I am to you and how much you love me.  I am so grateful to be a part of this family that you love.  I have felt your strength and have been reminded by you that the best is yet to come.  Truly, you have been a faithful servant in this world and we are suffering a great loss.

I love you Aunt Craigge, you have blessed us so much with your life.  I will make sure Joshua remembers you, and until the day we meet again; I will miss you.

Joshua's Best Friend Forever

One of Joshua's best friends is his Aunt Joyce, who is also my sister.  He has a special hand sign to let me know when he wants to go to her house.  There are days he will sign every ten minutes that he wants to go see her.  She is kind of like his BFF.  She sits patiently with him on the couch as he tries to communicate with her through sign language what he wants or is thinking.

On occasion his BFF doesn't understand what his signs mean, but they don't always need words to understand each other.  They hold hands between smiles, hugs and their visit.  I think he just enjoys sitting there knowing that she loves him and cares about him.

Often words cannot express the deepest feelings of our heart.  They can only be felt by the ones who takes the time to listen to the unspoken words.  In the story of Job in the Bible it says that after all his afflictions, his friends came and "sat down on the ground with him for 7 days and 7 nights with no one speaking a word to him."  Their mere presence spoke volumes to him.   However, any consolation was interrupted when they began to speak.

I'm wondering if I have the qualifications to be a good BFF and if not, why not?  Joshua has encouraged me to be patient and  hear beyond the words that a person is speaking.  My sister reminds me that true listening takes time and practice.  Something I need to develop because every heart is worth hearing.

TOUCHED

It was a Sunday, the church service was over and I was still in the sanctuary talking with friends.  I spotted a friend's teenage son who has autism and walked over to shake hands.  When I extended my hand to Brandon, he looked me in the eyes, smiled, took my hand in his and kissed it.  I immediately felt like a princess; like royalty.  He had made my day!

My friend, Linda told me that the best part of her day was when my son, Joshua held her hand while they were watching a DVD.  She is a teacher and told me it had been a really hard day.  Joshua is non-verbal so this was his way of reaching out to comfort her.

I read a story about a man who was walking on the beach when from nowhere a young boy with Down syndrome ran towards him laughing and started wildly kissing and hugging him. The man wrote that at that moment he felt as if God was telling him, "This is how much I love you.  I am crazy about you."  An embarrassed mother ran up apologizing and reclaimed her son.  He assured her he was fine, but he would never forget it.

Sometimes the most unsuspecting souls can look into our lives where the needs run the deepest and touch our hearts with such love and acceptance.  We walk away with a depth we have never experienced, and thank God, we are never the same.

Churchless

Finding a church home is hard these days and it's getting even harder.  Many churches do not offer anything for the special needs child and the ones that offer a ministry may not work for your child.  Most of the families I know with a special needs child do not attend church or have long spans of time where they do not attend.

Of all the places to find acceptance, the church should be number one on the list.  Clearly in the Bible Jesus paid special attention to the children and took great notice of those suffering.  He did not blame, look down on or cast away those considered insignificant at that time.

I was telling a friend that when I attend his church, no one speaks to us.  His answer to me was, "that is not their fault."  Then whose is it?  Shame on us when we do not welcome people who walk through those church doors no matter how they are dressed, what they look like or how uncomfortable they might make us feel.  We should welcome them the way Jesus welcomes each sinner that turns from their own path to follow Him.  Hallelujah, praise God, nothing else matters anymore but that you are here now!

It's not easy loving people who are different.  Some people with special needs are loud and embarrassing and some drool.  But, other people lie and gossip.  Which is worse?

I'm on a mission on my "Joshua Journey" to learn to love everyone no matter what; because God does.  And, I don't know about you, but I want to be just like my Father.

Through His Eyes

There is a 75% chance or greater that your marriage will fail if  you have a special needs child.  I know of families that seek to adopt special needs children and I say "God bless them".  If my husband, Allan and I did not have a relationship with Christ, I don't know how we would survive. Thank God for a husband who is patient and does not give up.

Raising a child with special needs can be exhausting physically and emotionally.  Some special needs children do not sleep well which puts an additional drain on the parents.  My heart goes out to all the single moms who are doing this job alone.  Their greatest need might just be five minutes alone to spend on themselves.

Probably the greatest thing I have learned on this journey is that I am not alone.  I have a God who is leading me and is with me each step of the way.  I like what Coral Bergmann says in Jenny McCarthy's book "Mother Warriors".  "...I am not alone.  I have had a chance to be reacquainted with God.  Not the God you meet in your Sunday best in church, but the God you meet on your kitchen floor at three in the morning."

Whatever your struggle may be, however dark your day, God is there and takes note of each tear.  Your pain is never wasted when you give it to Him.  He has this amazing way of creating something beautiful out of what the world would reject.  He makes what looks like a mistake, into a miracle.  His vision is so much better than ours.

Lord, everyday, let me see ... through Your eyes.. 

Lost Lambs

When Joshua was only a few months old, I met a lady at a homeschooling convention who had eight children from ages 20 to 3 years old.  She had a son around 10 years old that was born with Down syndrome.  When I asked her how difficult it was for her having a child with Down syndrome, she responded, "not as challenging as dealing with the sin my 20 year old daughter is in." 

I have never forgotten that and I now understand how parents tend to focus on the child with the greatest need at the moment.  Having a special needs child does not mean that our other children will not require as much or more of our attention.  I guess we are all a little "special needs" at one time or another.  We all tend to lose our way and go in the wrong direction.

It makes me think of the story of the lost sheep in the Bible and how the shepherd leaves all the other sheep to find the lost one and how he rejoices when that sheep is found.  I'm so glad we have a Father in heaven that cares about every single child on this earth no matter their intelligence, physical appearance or contributions.

Shouldn't we all be the same way?  Joshua and I think so.

Learning Humility

Joshua's older brother Jeremy, is one of Joshua's best friends.  Although Jeremy is 21 yrs old he loves doing things with Joshua like playing his music on the keyboard and he is very patient with  him.  But his patience ends there.

I confess I am to a certain degree computer illiterate, but I am working on it ever day.  My son, Jeremy has been my biggest asset in accomplishing anything on this blog.  He has helped me set it up, put the pictures on and a myriad of other things.  I homeschooled him  from K - 9th grade, so you think he would be grateful that I taught him how to read, write,  do his math, etc.

However, when it comes to him teaching me on the computer, I'm sure I am a great challenge.  He is currently in college studying biomedical engineering.  I told him to never, never, never go into teaching.

He was totally shocked to find out all the things I do NOT know how to do.  I have taught myself how to work my computer, do face book and a few other things; but I guess that I am really way behind in my computer skills.  According to him, I have "real computer issues".

After being insulted a few times with comments like "this is so elementary ... it's like telling someone how to wash a dish," and "even Aunt Joyce knows how to do this"; I learned what Jeremy considers to be the epitome of stupidity when he says, "Mom, teenage girls know how to do this." 

So, if I don't post everyday or get my pictures posted at the right time, you will understand that I am being tutored by a strict schoolmaster who is not very available  Anyone else available, please let me know.  Until then, I remain humbly yours,  Patti Goulet, and I still love you, Jeremy, you're the best!

Joshua's Family Pictures

Fun in the hammock

A "cool" brother

Kisses

the tube dude

smiles

mom and dad smiles

Beach Boy

Jet skiing

riding in car

quiet times

hiking with brother, Jeremy

hugging bear

sweet sister

Look at Me!

Joshua avoids directs eye contact as do a lot of special needs children.  Sometimes it's just easier for him to focus and listen without having to look someone in the eyes at the same time while they are speaking.  But many people don't understand that and think that he is not listening to them or that he isn't aware of the fact that they are speaking to him.  Some people get irritated (I know I have) with the fact that he will not look into their eyes.

Why do we want people to look us in the eyes when we are speaking to them?   Isn't it more for the benefit of the person speaking than the person listening?   We want to know that we have their attention and that they are listening to us and perhaps we can read something in their eyes to reflect on what we have just said. 

When you listen to music, you are not always looking into the eyes of a musician but hopefully the message of the music comes across.  The Word says that "the things that are visible are temporal, but the things that are invisible are deathless and everlasting."

Maybe, Joshua wants to listen so much to what I really have to say that he purposefully looks away so he can not only hear my words, but also hear my heart.  Isn't that how we should all listen? 

  

Razor Sharp

Joshua is always wanting to play with razors.  His sense of touch is not as keen as normal so he is fascinated with how quickly he can "feel" when he touches a sharp razor.  He just scratches up his thumb a little with them.  But we worry he will really hurt himself.

Of course we try to keep them hidden, but with all the people in this house shaving legs or beards, he somehow manages to find them.  He also likes the excitement or panic in our voices when we see he has a razor in his hand.  I'm sure the attention and the drama of the moment unfortunately makes him tend to seek them out even more.

Sometimes we are drawn towards sharp, potentially dangerous things in our lives.  The intense emotions and sensations can be intriguing.  Of course it's always a lie.  Like Joshua, I am learning to discern truth and not get cut on the way.    

Which Side of the Wall?

When we are in a fortress we can be either safe or trapped.  It's easier to not have to face other people and their stares and to remain in a safe secluded environment.  But I believe God does not create us to live for ourselves, but to share our gifts and uniqueness with others.

Almost always when Joshua and I are out, we get a few stares and a few smiles.  Some days the stares are really annoying.  But I can understand why someone may stare at a 13 year old boy hugging a mannequin in a store and Joshua wants to hug all of them.

I wish it didn't bother me when we get that second look.   It would be so nice to walk around at the mall or anywhere and no one would take notice.  Maybe God has something He wants us to share with the world.  Sometimes I think the journey is mine and Joshua is leading me.  A lady at a store told me that special needs people are smarter that us.  I believe her.  Keep leading me Joshua!

Bring All the Walls Down

Imagine living in a walled fortress that had no doors or windows.  There would be no way for you to leave or for anyone to come inside.  Loneliness and frustration would just be two of the emotions you would have from the isolation.  Boredom and futility would accompany.  How could you escape and connect with individuals on the other side of the fortress?

Sometimes I feel like my son, Joshua, lives in that walled fortress.  Being nonverbal closes a lot of doors and windows.  Having been born with Down syndrome and a smear of autism, he is often isolated and cut off from  relationships.

I am here to introduce you to Joshua.  He is an amazing young man with an amazing journey.  Everyday something unique and sometimes embarrassing happens in his life. (I'm the one who gets embarressed, Joshua never does.)

Join us on our journey!

Pictures

Some pictures of Joshua...